Crazy, Goofy World

Can You Afford Your Lifestyle?

2008-04-27T12:45:00.002-04:00

I think this has to be a question all of us ask ourselves at least three times a year, particularly as we are all getting raises, more exposure to the "finer" things of life, etc.
I didn't start asking myself this until around this time last year. The reason why is because I was opened up to the world of J.Crew. While I can't wear EVERY single thing they offer (the hip-page area of pants just aren't forgiving enough--- even for a petite black woman!), I DO like the style. I started buying clothes from there... not whole outfits or whatever, but if they had nice cashmere sweaters and I knew they'd look good on me and they'd last forever, why the heck not?
But I started thinking--- does what I wear and where I live dictate my lifestyle? In my opinion, you betcha. And can I afford it? Uhhhh.... and since that hestiation is there, I've been watching myself!! LOL!!!

I remember having a conversation with three of my coworkers.. I just happen to be moseying on along and they called me into the conversation. They asked "Can you live comfortably in the DC area on 90K a year?" I almost choked and said "Absolutely." But when someone broke it down, I understood the dilemma. The guy had student loans from undergraduate school totalling to almost 100K (gosh darn!!) that he was still paying off; a car loan from a car he bought because his previous car just got messed up; a $2500 mortgage per month; and some credit card debt that was totaling to around 10K. Wow. And while he wasn't a baller, he did like to look nice, so you have to add in the whole gym membership stuff, good food, nice clothes, etc.

I'm adding this up now... if one were to make 90K a year, take out taxes, take out 5% of retirement, that's around 4800-5000 per month of take home pay (and I'm assuming that a person is having a bunch of crap taken out of their taxes or what not). That sounds good to me! However, take a closer look: after taking away the mortgage there's only 2500 left. GOSH DARN IT! Take away another 500-600 bucks for gas, water, phones, DSL and misc bills. Then you have your student loans which totals up to around 750-850 bucks a month. Then you have to eat, and that's around 250 a month (and that's frugal). Another 300 for personal care (haircuts, dry cleaners, gym memberships, washing clothes) and another 200 for possible entertainment. So that leaves you with 600 extra which would likely go towards paying off the credit cards, car insurance, car note, etc. And very little left for savings. I guess my coworker was right--- some would qualify this as barely making it.

But then let's be real, though. There are ways to make it work and make your savings grow. Do you really need a car? DC has a great Metro system. While it can be somewhat inconvinient, and take a bit of time, you can take the Metro. You don't really need a car. I've been doing alright without one for forever. I have to admit--- sometimes it's a pain not having a car but you can rent one for a half a day and just do what you've to do and you're done for the month. That would equal a fraction of paying for gas and insurance for a whole month!

I guess your lifestyle is dependent upon the choices you make. You can't have everything, particularly if you know you're being stretched by some of the things you already have. Unless you're rich up the wazoo, if you're like every other 20-something year old, then I'm afraid you're going to have to wait for either the big house, nice car, nice clothes (which need to be put in the dry cleaners which means extra dough), nice vacations, top of the line groceries, the nicest resturants, etc. I guess our generation is being told we deserve all of this stuff and we're all entitled to it. Well, can you afford it? That's the big question.

I'm back.. again! :)

2008-04-27T12:36:00.002-04:00

Hello all---

I've been away for quite some time. I have perfect excuses--- I deployed for a few months to Iraq, went to visit my now-fiance Bach Boy who was in China for a bit of time and had to get settled back into work. While work was sort of the same, I took on more and more responsibilities while one of my supervisors was preparing and now deployed. It's been a worldwind of a year, I can tell you that much.
All I know is that it is good to be back and hopefully, I can maintain this op tempo of work work work, exercise, and getting ready for the spring/summer. I am VERY excited about nice weather! haha!

Unfortunately, not practicing as much on the piano but still got love for it. :) Once I get this working thing a bit more down pat, it should work out a bit better.

There have been some changes going on around here but I think it's for the best (life-wise). At some point, you have to REALLY grow up and face life head on and really know what it is your deepest needs are and learn how to have said needs met while being able to live, work and understand other individuals in an interdependant way. Since this is so vague, it may not make sense, but I think we all come to a point to where we have to just be upfront with folks and say "No, that's not what I want." or "Sure, this is fine." While you can't control everything, you can't allow others to control you in an effort to keep the peace. It may have worked as a kid, but it definitely doesn't work as an adult. You'll run into a lot of flack because people resist not having their ways. But that's just life.

OK, so that's my vague lecture for the day! :)

Good to be back! :)

Progress

2007-02-19T20:45:00.000-05:00

OK, so this weekend did not go as planned. However, I did do a bunch of practicing today (Monday). I really cannot believe I had enough patience back when I was teenager learning these things, I tell ya.

So, here is my revised repertoire list:
- Mozart's A minor sonata, K. 310-- 1st movement so far
- Beethoven's 3rd movement of the "Tempest"
- Elegie by Rachmaninoff

I am still deciding on the Bach. I'm not sure I quite understand what's going on in that and I'd like to have some type of path before I jump right into it. I am also thinking about doing Chopin's Nocturne-- it's the first one... B-flat minor, I believe. Absolutely gorgeous. If I can do the one in D-flat major, I know that I can do anything.

So I practiced for a day and was able to work, hands together very slowly, up to the end of the second page of botht he Mozart and Beethoven. I really like the way they are turning out. If I am more consisten throughout the week, I think I can move on this rather nicely.

Stay tuned...

Pieces that I am working on now

2007-02-17T00:17:00.000-05:00

Well, after coming to the conclusion that I need to know my scales and arpeggios, I then know that I need to learn a few pieces to get a few things under my belt.
So...

Bach-- Prelude and Fugue Number 4 from the Well Tempered Clavier
Mozart-- two sonatas--- the first one for mostly practice/warm up, the usual Sonata in C major K. 545; The other sonata is K. 310
Beethoven-- two sonatas as well-- the really easy one in G major (I think Opus 14); the other one would be Sonata Opus 30 No. 2, the third movement (it's gorgeous, but long and difficult)
Rachmoninoff-- Elegie Opus 3 No. 1-- I heard it only once and knew that it was totally made for me.
Brahms-- Intermezzo #6

I think I have my hands full with all of this stuff so far.

I think the goal is that by next month, I would like to be able to slowly practice the sonatas hands separately for the first 2 pages each.

Practice from two days ago went fine, I just have to get back into the groove of practicing and "starting over". I'll also try not to spend TOO much times on scales and everything. I need to have a goal for everyday rather than trying to do EVERYTHING in just ONE day.

I did not practice Thurs or Friday. Saturday, tho, I plan to practice for around 1.5 to 2 hours. I will focus on three things-- the Bach prelude, the Mozart sonata (first movement of K. 310) and then the Rachmaninoff Elegie. Or whatever variation, but I won't do EVERYTHING. That's what will kill me. Besides, it's a 3 day weekend-- I can get away with doing 2 hours a day-- split it up or do more than I want.

Will report soon.

Guess Who's Back?

2007-02-12T21:31:00.000-05:00

Well, gang, I'm back. No need to worry. Just been finishing up degrees and such.

Well, I'll cut right to the chase. I've gotten back into my piano practicing phase. I'm trying to take it slow so I won't get overwhelmed or disappointed too soon. So, I started back up around Saturday. I spent an hour going over scales, arpeggios (I've always been so scared of those), and going around the circle of fifths as much as I possibly can.
I have my heart set on learning a few things-- the third movement of Beethoven's "Tempest" Sonata. BEAUTIFUL, but quite different from what I would usually do.
While that's pretty hard, I'm working on a few easy sonatas by Mozart and Beethoven and just deciding what few other pieces I can just go for (Chopin, possibly some Bach).
Keep you all posted!

Beautiful

2006-11-03T23:58:00.000-05:00

Ok, when there is a beautiful woman out there, I'm not afraid to admit it. Especially when I think that she's representing the Dark and Lovlies of the world. This woman is gorgeous. I'm really really jealous.. I'm just glad that she ain't nowhere near my man! :)

Who's that, you ask? Ms. Kenisha Thom.. Miss Trinadad and Tobago in the Miss Universe competition:

Yeah, some airbrushing here and some photoshop there may have made it complete--- but I really don't that's the case with her-- there's a lot to work with.

Go on, girl! :)

Amos Lee

2006-10-26T14:11:00.000-04:00

I think I wrote about him in an earlier post (like last year or so), but I recently went to one of his live performances (by myself, no less) at the 9:30 Club. It was WONDERFUL! He's a mixture of folk, blues, funk, country, etc-- but the concert seemed to be more of the country type which I accepted b/c he has a great voice. He has this certain type of kid-like vulnerability to him and you could tell that while he really enjoys what he does, he's sort of shy and just wants to play music. I actually shook his hand! And I got his autograph! LOL

I have to say that the next time he's in DC, I will definitely go and see and drag as many people as I can to go with me. He's one of those down-low, Starbucks-y type of folks that you hear about but they aren't in the spotlight like Beyonce and the gang. In any case, check out his CDs... I really really like his first one-- it really depends on your taste, but has a great soulful voice no matter what he sings...

:)

A New Trend?

2006-10-14T23:30:00.000-04:00

I meant to post this up about a month ago... but I went to a club with a bunch of folks because a good friend of mine was in town for the holiday. So, we went to this club "Play". I thought it was OK, I probably won't go back there because of the experience I had, but that's another story.

In any case, at least 3 times, there were instances where Black men made it a point to make sure that me and two other Black women I was with knew for sure that they, the Black men, were dancing with and were more attracted to white women. If you are, that's fine. But there was an obvious tone of maliciousness in this.

News flash, guys. While some Black women still get a bit upset about seeing interracial couples (Black guy, white girl), the height of that controversy is so 5 years ago. It's over. Everyone, love and be loved. Enough already! There's a plethora of things to incite fury in folks for (you know... genocide in Darfur, world hunger, nuclear rockets in North Korea... you know?)

There's nothing wrong with interracial dating. Hell, I'm doing it myself. But the thing is that if someone has a problem with it, it's because they just generally do, not because I inflamed them by saying "Hey, look at this WHITE GUY I'm with. He's so WHITE. Look. He's WHITE!" This is essentially how we were treated at the club.

I don't know. Maybe it was just that night? Or maybe it was just that group of guys? Or maybe it was just that club... which partially why I'm probably not going back there. I've been out of the social scene lately so it could just very well be a new trend. If so, let me know, guys so I can write down some retorts or just ignore it altogether.

Idiots

2006-10-11T23:19:00.000-04:00

(Note: I am toning this post down--- apparently when I wrote this, I was in the "could-catch-the-disease" mode and timeframe and was highly upset. I think I am out of the clear now, but I think the point still stands....)

Ok... I'm sure you all can relate to, so you can't say I'm overreacting...

BUT WHY DO SICK PEOPLE COME TO WORK?

I can understand if you have the sniffles and you can manage your cold.. or if you've been out for a few days b/c of the cold and you're just coughing, but it's just the "after effects" cough-- you're not contagious...

But for those outside of these categories, you're out of your mind.

A coworker just came into work and pretty much said that she had ringworm. (!!!)

Dude, what the heck?

I'm sorry, I may be a germ-freak, but I really don't like to be sick, folks. I like to be healthy. I'm going crazy with these allergies I'm going through now. I don't like the flu, I don't like having a sore throat and I definitely don't like having anything on my skin itching and people avoiding me like the plague!

And neither do any of you, so I'm sure you guys can sympathize.

And it's not even a matter of whether you have sick leave or not. If your child has the stupid pink eye or ringworm, chances are, the parent's gonna get it too. TAKE THE LEAVE TO DEAL WITH THE MESS OFF THE BAT. And even if you don't have kids--- just take the leave!!! That's what it's there for!!!

ARRRGH.

I'm just saying...

Major Metro Pet Peeves

2006-10-10T22:06:00.000-04:00

Gang, I'm a native Washingtonian, which means I've been taking the subway and the bus to school, work, the movies, college, to visit family, the whole nine for at least ten years. I stopped keeping track after I graduated from high school.

But I've come to the conclusion-- some things just NEVER change... I have listed the things that won't ever get through folks' skulls....

1. STAND TO THE RIGHT, WALK TO THE LEFT. You'd think that the whole WORLD would know that by now, but apparently not.

2. If you have a rolly thing with you, that's cool. But if you're going up or down the escalator, make sure it is in front of you or behind you, NOT beside you, hence BLOCKING THE LEFT-SIDE WALKING TRAFFIC!!!!

3. And when you make to the top or bottom of the escalator with your rolly thing, and it was either behind or in front of you, DO NOT pull it next to you, blocking the hopeful traffic. (In addition, don't smile at me when you do it, as if you totally forgot the rules... just move the damned rolly thing!)

4. You've been waiting for the bus for 20 minutes. You've had PLENTY of time to ask folks around you how much the fare is (It's even posted on the busstop post!)... so don't go hunting for change at the last moment when you've been waiting there forever, HOLDING UP the entire line of people trying to get to work on time.

5. When the train comes to a full stop, do not stand in front of the door when you see a bunch of people getting ready to come out of the train. STAND TO THE SIDE OF THE DOOR, let the people out and then YOU go in. Gosh!

6. Maybe it's a personal space thing but... if you're on a relatively empty bus or train, DO NOT sit next to me when you have soooo much space to sit unless, of course, you're handicapped in some way and it's the closest seat to the door (no problem there).

7. If you have a cold, the flu, allergies, whatever, do not put your snot rag on the pole. If possible, sit as far away from the major populace as you can. You're gonna give them eebie jeebies...

8. If you're running for the train, don't stick your crap in the door. You're going to hold up the whole schedule, messing up everyone's transfers and connections. You can even make the train malfunction (it has happened and it pissed me off!)

9. If you are on the cellphone, keep it short. I do not need to know about how Tommy completely ignored you or how Susan is so hot.

10. And if someone does call you while you're on the bus or subway, do us all a favor and shut that annoying "Hollaback Girl" cellphone ring off and answer it. But keep it short.

11. If you're at a major transfering point for the trains (i.e. Metro Center, Gallery Place/Chinatown), do not stand in the middle of the traffic, you BIG IDIOT! Move to the dang side! When you get off the train and you know there's a huuuuge bunch of people ready to make their transfer, don't mosey your way in their direction, even if you aren't in a rush to make the same train everyone else is. You're being rude. Move to the furthest right side of the traffic and go your pace, but do NOT walk slowly in the middle and ZIG ZAG just enough so the folks behind you can't get by. You're definitely asking for a beatdown.

12. Gents: If there is an elderly woman or a pregnant woman that gets on the bus or subway, give your seat up to her. If I'm sitting at the back of the bus and either woman (or elderly man) makes his or her way to the back, someone's butt is getting kicked.

13. Please keep your food consumption to a very small minimum... I can understand a cup of Starbucks coffee in the morning, but I can't understand a whole bagel with cream cheese... esp when it's ridiculously crowded. Come on.

14. When you have luggage, like big luggage, and you're going to Union Station or Regan or whatever, don't block the aisle with it... yes, we understand that you insist on taking your big ole bag on the bus or subway, but still be mindful. And when you get off of the subway, don't act all lost, with your bag 4 feet behind you, blocking SOOOO much walking traffic. I CAN'T STAND THIS!

15. Don't try to help me with the day's Crossword puzzle in The Express. Even glancing over too long is rude.

More to come, I'm sure....

Color Struck?

2006-09-02T21:15:00.000-04:00

This has always been a big issue in the Black community-- and according to a couple of my South Asian friends, it's the same way. The shade of one's skin is a big issue and a lot is assumed just by looking at you. If being judged by your ethnicity isn't enough, you then have to deal with the shade of your skin. It's a daggoned trip.

What's "Color Struck" you may ask? From what I understand, it's basically not being able to function because either you wished you were lighter or you often bowed down (not literally, but in one way or another) to folks who are of a certain skin tone. It's basically putting people of a certain skin color in one category and the others in another. For example, the light skin folks are uppity, conceited, richer, more educated, way prettier, more accepted and just the thing to be. The darker ones are not as educated, they are not as desirable, they aren't pretty AT ALL, tend to be on the lower end of the economic spectrum and it's just not the place to be. Basically, this is a bunch of malarky on both sides-- it's mean to call light skin people conceited and also mean to say dark skin people will always hate themselves.

I bring this up for several reasons-- I'm realizing that this is still pervasive in my family and I've always known some people have always been this way but was pretty much flabbergasted when I found out some others were. It's really annoying-- it starts with my grandfather's side of the family--- they are all really really light, "high yellow" folks and my grandfather's siblings (including himself) are all 70 and older, so you know that they grew up in a time when their skin tone was such an asset. Granddaddy married a woman who is Dark and Lovely and was pretty much subject to forms of ridicule. Grandma and Granddaddy have 8 kids, all of which are a variation of the spectrum of Black folks. Beautiful people (cuz Grandma and Granddaddy are a handsome couple... they were in 1948 when they got married, they are in 2006, looking 10 years younger than they are. They can easily pass for 60.) But my aunts and uncles are in some way or form suffering from this issue--- wishing that their mother was lighter or that they looked like Granddaddy's side of the family. And for some of them, it's not really helping them with their progressive thinking.

I was raised by Grandma and Granddaddy and I, too, am Dark and Lovely. Skin color was never an issue among the three of us-- but they did prepare me for folks who made it an issue, family and all. Basically, if I went to school, "got my lessons", get good grades and keep focused for a good future, I was pretty much set. It pretty much worked out... but there were a few encounters...
In high school, I had a group of really good friends and we all were of varying shades, sizes, heights, etc, but we were all smart people. But on the way down to the metro station after school, while it was a joke, one of my friends said "Hey, if we were all in slavery, she'd be feeding the baby in the house, she'd be in the kitchen, and Stanli, sorry, you'd be out in the field picking cotton." Wow. Where did THAT come from? To which I responded-- "Well, it was the people in the field who started the rebellions time and time again, which is allowing us to go to school and college right now. I'm not ashamed of that history at all." That statement, and also interjecting that I was going to one of the best colleges in the country, pretty much stopped that nonsense.

In college, I could tell that it was the same thing going on. Throughout most of my college career, I hung out with a lot of people who were not Black-- I figured Georgetown was an international school, why not hang out with them? But the flip side of that was not being involved in the Black community. I did get involved in the Black community from time to time-- I remember distinctly that there was a good segment that discussed the images of beauty. And at that time, I was on my bell hooks kick, so of course I was interested! Well, I just remember there being rants and raves (including myself) about how the accepted beauty of black people were tall, skinny, light-skinned, long/curly-haired Black women. And that was that. We all talked about how wrong that was, etc. But I realized that no amount of ranting in a group was going to change anything. It was always beyond me how all of us Black folks were a bunch of smart people but still acted very backwards when it came to this. While I did have some Black friends at GU, I was never a part of the community for more reasons than others, but this being one of those reasons.

Post-college, real world: This doesn't mean a doggone thing anymore, well, depending on who you're around all the time. This is what the grown folks were talking about as far as really making it in the world. It really does not matter what you look like, as long as you know how to work your job and do what is right for you. But I have to disagree a little bit--- it does matter because somehow this is perpetuated through the children... and it's their parents (in this case, future parents), my future peers, that would perpetuate this stuff. But, then again, it's really up to me to really perpetuate it.

That's the end of this rant--- but believe me, there are more to come! :)

A (not so) quick rant

2006-08-12T15:37:00.000-04:00

OK, I've noticed that there have been variations upon a theme led by a sect of folks that seems to catch fire every now and then. Does this sound familiar?
"If you put X store in place, it takes out the mom and pop shops of blah blah blah."

This argument has been used against Walmart, Target, Starbucks and a few others. The more recent one is the one against books, specifically against Oprah's bookclub.

All I have to say is that Oprah rocks. If you have any problems with that statement, we can talk about this face to face and I assure you, I'll win.

In any case, this argument was that Oprah's book club over the past several years have made certain books placed on the catapult of book-ness and has been sold throughout, where else, the Walmarts and Targets of America. You have a mother of 3 toddlers thumbing through these books at these stores and going for the "flashy"-looking covers which has "Oprah's bookclub selection" plastered all over it. Basically, the fact that these books, such as Grapes of Wrath or Anna Karenina or The Bluest Eye, are greatly publicized overshadows the books authored by up and coming writers in independent book stores (i.e. mom and pop-equivalent book stores and mom and pop-like authors). Therefore, there is something wrong with this book club and others like it.

FIRST OF ALL, who are you to determine who's qualified to read such material? My thing is that those who make this argument against Oprah's club or things like it is that such books by Tolstoy, Fitzgerald, etc believe that these books are only reserved for Ivory Tower, uber-educated, latte-drinking individuals, b/c only THEY can REALLY understand what these authors are saying. F*** YOU. (sorry, I've been reading CoffeeLady's blog a lot!) Because a woman who is a single mother with three kids does not make her any less smarter than a Harvard-educated guy sitting Starbucks reading the New York Times online. So, let's stop all of this.

SECOND OF ALL, what's wrong with getting America reading? Folks can argue that there's a commercialization of only certain books (well, that IS the argument), but the whole thing is that b/f these bookclubs, Joyce, Tolstoy, Hurston, etc have all been somehow made inaccessible to the average American and made folks believe that you had to go to college in order to understand, let alone READ, these books. Now, taht's not the case. That's the beauty of Oprah. Yes, she's a billionaire. Yes, she's very smart. But she's also reachable and very down to earth to the point to where she gives us a form of belief that we too can do stuff.
And the people who are making the argument against the commercialization of 'great books' are the same ones that would complain that the average American is so dumb and they don't read enough and "why isn't anything done to improve this??" Which one is it?

ALSO, who cares about the up and coming authors? If your book is good, it will be read. If it sucks, it will not be read. If it succeeds and many people agree that it's good, it will be sold throughout the country. It will be recognized by other literary critiques out there. Also, if you're an up and coming author, hopefully your agent will have done his or her job of hustling some forms of exposure to different audiences and the like for your book. So, Walmart and Oprah's bookclub aren't the enemy-- that author's own writing could just downright suck, explaining lack of exposure.

So, that's it for my rant this time. I'm just getting tired of people thinking that b/c they know some information or because they're able to quote certain things from Wuthering Heights, they are better than other folks and there's no way that the average person can understand certain literature. This has got to stop. I don't know who this group is defined as-- I heard that they were really stupid liberals or pretty pretentious Republicans... I don't know but they need to get their act together.

test

2006-08-11T22:07:00.000-04:00

You are a Career Girl!

You may not be a CEO yet, but you're well on your way to success.You take your career seriously, and you wouldn't stop working for any guy!An independent woman, you pay for your own car, clothes, and housing.And men appreciate that - at least, the ones as driven as you are.

What Kind of Girl Are You?

Why Kneepains is Awesome

2006-08-10T20:50:00.000-04:00

I've developed a list of why Ms. Kneepains is one of the coolest people around....

1. She's an out-doorsy girl not afraid to get her hands dirty...
2. She climbed Mt. Whitney out in California... with a sprained ankle... and with 60 pounds worth of crap in her backpack
3. She defends feline rights against nasty coworkers
4. She is often concerned about Ricky
5. She is currently making sure Ricky is healthy while I'm cruising across the country... and was willing to yell at the Ace Hardware guys about messing up the spare keys to the apt so she could, in fact, check in on Ricky.
6. She's too fun to work with... we have great coffee breaks...
7. She knows how to tell it like it is
8. She also isn't afraid to "step on toes" of folks trying to BS other folks
9. And, of course, although she's 5'10, she is not afriad of wearing high-heeled boots (of course, when she doesn't have a sprained ankle)
10. She inspires me to work out instead of eating up a bunch of chocolate cake...

Rock on, chica! :)

Shake what yo mama gave you

2006-07-29T01:29:00.000-04:00

First of all, I will definitely admit, I've been watching WAAAAAY too much of VH-1 Soul and MTV Hits (which are nothing-but-music-video channels) and I have seen A LOT OF Beyonce moving and shaking over the past 4 hours that I have been vegging in front of the TV (but, on the good side, I saw some good old videos from Brownstone, SWV, Mint Condition, etc). I don't see myself having this time like this for a while so, why not?

Anyhoo, I know I've had a previous post about my rant about how Alicia Keys is better than Beyonce; but I have to say, B knows how to shake what her mama gave her (and you see that her mom's gotta a lot to shake too)... in any case, a friend sent me a You Tube link of all of her just a shaking shaking shaking... it's like a montage/collage/whatever of all of her performances of "Crazy In Love" (which I really like b/c of the go-go beat)... As my friend Jam stated, I was completely transfixed.... I didn't know it was possible... Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it...

Check it out for yourself... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOAzSiEbzpk

Suffice it to say, I stand corrected... Beyonce is definitely talented... in shaking her thang. And she's smart (or someone else is) in knowing that she does that very well.

Anthony Hamilton

2006-07-29T00:43:00.000-04:00

Mr. Hamilton has this song that's out, "Can't Let Go" that I LOVE. It's so beautiful. Especially the part when he say that when there is a love that was sent from God (or something thereof)... you can't really argue with a man who believes this so strongly. I love this song...

Why must they try to tear down my house when they know it's made from love
And they could never stand in my way
We made a vow to love through it all
We are one
And no one has the right to tear my love down

No matter what the people say, I'm gonna love you anyway
You are my life,
I can't let go
Even if we fuss or fight, try til we get it right
You are my life, I can't let go
Even if we disagree, you can put it all on me
You are my life, I can't let go
I can't, I can't let you go

How dare they say
That a love like ours wont last?
God made no mistakes
When He sheltered me with your heart
There's no safer place than to be in love
And here I will stand
And there ain't never
Ain't gonna never ever leave you alone

No matter what the people say I'm gonna love you anyway
You are my life, I can't let go
Even if we fuss or fight, try til we get it right
You are my life, I can't let go
Even if we disagree, you can put it all on me
You are my life, I can't let go
I can't, I can't let you go

All that I know now is to give you all of me
And no matter how long I take
And every part of me belongs to your love
Help me, help me

No matter what the people say, I'm gonn
gonna love you anyway
You are my life, I can't let go
Even if we fuss or fight, try til we get it right
You are my life, I can't let go
Even if we disagree, you can put it all on me
You are my life, I can't let goI can't, I can't let you go

Things to Do

2006-07-29T00:16:00.000-04:00

I was just thinking about a lot ofclothes, books and other random things and just came up with the list of things I must do or wear before I turn 30.. b/c, you know, it's around 30 when the rugrats start coming and you actually have to start acting like an adult. (I'm figuring out something-- just b/c you're over 21 years old, you're not really THAT much older... you still have some time to live it up... you're just a tax and bill paying kid...)

Anywhere, here goes the list. Yes, it may seem random, but I encourage you all to do it (make the list, not do what I'm gonna do, unless you wanna)...

1. Wear a pair of hotpants-- stipulations... I have to wear it in public and be confident... and, of course, have the toned thighs to go with it... as I train for the marathon, I'm sure I'll achieve that sooner than expected!!!
2. Wear a pair of leather pants... same stipulations for hotpants apply
3. Wear a bikini, string preferably... same stipulations for # 1 and 2 apply
4. Leopard print sheer shirt with appropriate under wear
5. Travel to Uzbekistan or somewhere in Central Asia
6. Go to China
7. Travel cross country (USA)
8. Seriously research being a hip hop dancer. I'm sorry, if you have 40 year olds dropping it like its hot (in hot pants) and looking good, I don't think I'm too old to do said research
9. Spend a whole day sleeping (12 hours minimum)
10. Shop for shoes guilt-free... all day long
11. Go to a Michael Jackson concert (which could very well be in China)
12. Take belly dancing classes
13. Hunt down singer Maxwell and ask him to sign something of mine
14. Take the time to find out where Condi Rice will be working and apply for a job there.
15. Write my own themesong (piano)
16. Find my inner beauty
17. Ponder the meaning of life
18. Understand how the heck supermodels get their makeup looking so flawless
19. Write a book about my family lineage
20. Rock the 'fro at work

More to come...

Facebook/MySpace Effect

2006-07-17T22:46:00.000-04:00

Ok, I've been noticing quite a bit of things about these new things: Facebook and My Space. Not only is it a great way to meet up with long lost high school and college colleagues, it's a way to get your face out there to the whole world, gosh darn it. Basically, your most beautiful and glamorous shots.

I'm not hating AT ALL. I actually welcome it. FINALLY, gone are the days when the only person who could grace any form of a screen was 5'9, 100 pounds, blonde and blue eyes. Gosh darn it, I like it when I see women (and definitely men!) of varying shades, hair colors and lengths and of varying body shapes and heights just posing, working it harder than a part-time job. GO ON WITH YOUR BAD SELVES!!!!

Of course with revolutions, there needs to be SOME rules. I mean, come on folks. You do NOT need to be showing your thongs or be overly dramatic in an effort to "show your best side". Just stand there and take the daggone picture and put on some clothes. Just be tasteful. Kids could be looking. Even worse, your future employers could be looking. Not a good thing.

So, for the most part, go for it, strike a pose and give it your best shot. But, also, when in doubt, err on the side of caution when posting particular photos. Just saying....

Work tomorrow

2006-07-17T21:06:00.000-04:00

If I told you that I wanted to go to work tomorrow, I'd be lying to you.

Jeez. That's what happens when you take vacations... you realize that there's a life outside of your job. And that life is REALLY NICE! :)

But then again, you have to WORK in order to go on whatever vacations there may be. You know, earned income and things like that.

Oh, well. I guess I have my friends at work to look forward to. If it weren't for them....

The Tradition Continues

2006-07-17T10:38:00.000-04:00

So, I spent the past weekend helping my aunt pack up for my little cousins (well, they're not THAT little anymore... the 12 year old is only 2 inches shorter than I am!!!)... they were on their way to a 3 week academic summer program at Vassar College. Soooo sweet... So, we drove two hours from Long Island up to Pougkeepsie, stood in line for 45 minutes for registration and spent an hour and a half unloading the car, unpacking the stuff and hanging up stuff and organizing stuff for two boys who were mostly concerned about Pokemon.
I had a blast!!!!!
It's really a tradition that I vowed to keep a live; back in the 70s, my aunt went to Rensselear Polytechnic Institute for a summer program for three or four weeks-- her oldest sister drove her up there; the summer before my senior year in high school, my aunt and uncle (and the two boys when they were 1 and 3 years old), drove me and helped me get to Cornell for a six week program there (which was AWESOME!), and now it's the boys' turn. I'm sure they'll be doing it way more often. And then comes college, etc. Wow, it's going to be a lot of fun (well, not the unloading and unpacking part).

I really REALLY missed college when I sat down at my cousin's desk in his dorm room. It's something about college that was pretty safe--- you knew EXACTLY what was expected of you and you also had very set goals-- the main one being to graduate. Very different in the real world... I begged my cousins to not want to grow up too fast to be adults. Yes, you can eat pizza all day long, every day. But, really, you can't b/c your metabolism can't take it. Yes, you can go anywhere you want, but you need to have a job in order to do that. The list goes on and on.

Other life lessons later!!! :)

test

2006-07-09T13:15:00.000-04:00

test

There goes my diet!

2006-06-25T16:24:00.000-04:00

OMG...

Gang, a few of us went to the Cheesecake Factory last night (after a WONDERFUL dinner at Ray's the Steaks in Arlington, VA... mouth watering... the steak was FANTASTIC!).... so, Bachboy and I decided to share two different slices of cheesecake... He asked me to chose so I chose my usual favorite: original with strawberries... and I chose the white chocolate caramel latte cheesecake.

OH MY GOOOOOODNESS.....

The poor strawberry one was sort of lonely... but the white chocolate whatever whatever was ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS... we nearly fought over how much the other could eat of the slice. I really REALLY wish I just chose two slices of it so we could just eat our own b/c sharing just one slice was NOT enough!

Check it out, gang.... SOOOOOOO good! :)

Rant of the summer

2006-05-30T13:48:00.000-04:00

Whew.. Black Women and our Hair!
Or maybe I should speak for myself, but I'm sure there are a whole lot of Black women who would just say a quick "Amen" on her way to the beauty salon--

It's that time of year again, folks--- summer: ah the flowers, the butterflies and, yes, the bees. You can go to the beach, you can ride your bike around, you can find refuge in a cool movie theater and then you have those lovely summer nights... but for a Black woman, there is one other thing that's on her mind: her hair...

It may not seem like a big deal to other people, but it is a big deal to us. Beach, you say??? Ok, I'll go, but I ain't getting in that water. Why not, you ask? I don't want to get my hair wet!!! What's wrong with getting your hair wet, you may ask? It cost freaking $65 dollars to get it straightened and my next appointment isn't for another 2 weeks. You are not forcing me to get into that water and if you do by "playfully" pushing me in, I'm taking you to Judge Judy for you to pay for my emergency hair salon visit and that is FINAL.

Summer: The humidity is RIDICULOUS, the sweaty palms of folks wanting to touch your hair is THREATENING and the shower-- well, no mind that... I have my two handclothes and shower cap to protect it from any potential water that may try to creep through a unknown hole through the shower cap. Then there is the summer "fun"-- swimming, beach going, everything involves some form of moisture or water. And you better be out of my way when it starts to rain-- rain mixed with humidity--- GOODNESS GRACIOUS OF LIFE. I'm not leaving my house AT ALL.

It's craziness. The whole thing stems from wanting to maintain a professional look at the least amount of damage to one's hair... which is nearly impossible. My hair is natural, but I get it "hot-combed" every 2 weeks-- folks, that's a lot of heat applied to one's hair every other week. But, it needs to be done this way because there is no way in the world that I can walk in my job, be taken seriously, with an Afro. A huge one at that. And, on top of that, it is way too hot to want to wear an Afro anyway... I don't want to put a relaxer in my hair b/c I'm left with the same issues of moisture AND there is the issue of chemicals in my hair which is ultra damaging...

On top of all of this, when I exercise, I sweat in my head. So all of the pain that went into straightening the roots of my hair sort of goes kaput after two days of strenuous exercising. And I really want to train for a marathon that's coming up in a few months, so I can't NOT exercise. What's a Black woman to do?
A big no to chemicals!! But how about if I....
Get braids? This may be a natural way to go given the texture, length and "naturalness" of my hair. But it has to be nice-- no Brandy-braids allowed. I opt for the Beyonce braids-- pre-solo album when there were 4 members in Destiny's Child without the blonde streaks. (sorry, blond streaks mixed wtih jet black hair against mahogany skin isn't a good look).
Get a weave? I've never done this, but it gives one the ability to have the straight hair look, while preserving the natural hair. You can treat it like your own, etc. The downside is that the pulling and sewing of the natural hair can eventually break it off if one is not careful.
Get Extensions? I've obviously not with it b/c I'm thinking that this is the same thing as braids or what not....
Go natural with the 'fro? Probably not a good idea given the very "professional" place I am in... there's only one guy who's getting away with it, but he's an IT guy getting paid for his brains-- and they have him locked away in a basement (such a nice kid, though!) Don't think I want to go to my next interview looking like that.
Cut it off altogether or cut it short like Halle Berry's? First of all, I am not Halle Berry-- I am not paid a gajillion dollars per year. If I were paid that much, I'd wear the fro and this blog would be a moot point. And a short hair cut is not flattering for my face. And even if I did cut it short, it'd still be a 'fro, just smaller, but still revolutionary-like. The upside is that it is very low maintainence and it would cost basically nothing; would just need to pay for shampoo, conditioner and some hair grease. The downside is that I like my hair long. (And for those who want to read into my "I like my hair long" statement, I am not brainwashed to believe that I have "good hair" or trying to offset my dark skin with long hair-- I just like longer hair! So there!)

It's SO hard to choose b/c you want to still be professional, not bring TOO much notice to your hair, not fulfill stupid stereotypes by walking up in places with unbelievably fake hair but you also want to be fit and trim. I just read an article that stated that a lot of Black women were overweight because they don't exercise enough... but the reason why they don't exercise enough is that they don't want to ruin their fresh do's. Fortunately, I'm not overweight or anything, but I can understand where they are coming from. I'm just trying to find a way to look good and professional and exercise (more than normal) during this DING DANG WASHINGTON, DC HEAT, GOSH DARN IT!!!!

Wish me luck-- and if you have any suggestions, please send them my way. I'm thinking of cute twists, but I don't know yet!!!

The New MJs

2006-05-25T23:55:00.000-04:00

I've been watching ALOT OF music videos in the past few days and all I have to say is that there are a lot of folks out there trying to be Michael Jackson with their dancing, etc...

First it all started out with Usher with all of his videos..

Now there's Ne-Yo with "When you're mad"....

And then there's Chris Brown's "Get At That" or something like that... That was a CLEAR copy off of Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal...

I mean, on behalf of MJ, I am definitely flattered (teehee)--- but I hope there aren't any 15-20 year olds who think this stuff is original....

But more power to these kids for continuing the tradition!

Things I've Accomplished So Far

2006-04-25T22:46:00.000-04:00

Taking cue from Ms. Kneepains, I think I'll come up with a list of things that I've done this year that I thought I wouldn't do, but did:

1. Go to the Middle East
2. Make a meal for two three times in a row-- in one week!
3. Tell off a telemarketer
4. Lie to a telemarketer
5. File taxes the day before they were due (I'm usually 3 months ahead!)
6. Hating Mondays-- consistently
7. Whining about Mondays (gosh, I never whine!)
8. Feel like I was 12 again
9. Dance in my living room to jazz
10. Say "I love you" at least 20 times in one sitting
11. Marathon phone convo with auntie for 4 hours straight (no bathroom breaks or nothing)
12. Sit through an amusing 3 hour dinner with my grandparents and a guest where grandma explains how "white people know how to eat cheese" (LOLOLOLOL)
13. Smile and say hello to my "ex"
14. Run on the treadmill longer than 20 minutes
15. Take an aerobics class at the local gym
16. Regret some decisions from the previous year
17. Did something for someone I love with no hesitation whatsoever (100x's over)
18. Made a decision about work...
19. And then reneged...
20. And then fretted...
21. And then realized it was all good...
22. Bought music carelessly...
23. And can't regret that!
24. Lit candles
25. Ate brussel sprouts (now I know why kids hate them!)
26. Tell a good friend the truth about someone he loves.
27. Vote for someone on American Idol...
28. A bunch of times...
29. Based on actual talent!
30. Do a 30 minute presentation and Q&A in front of a bunch people who knew their stuff.
31. Go longer than 2 weeks without touching the piano
32. Coming very close to stopping everything and finding a way to tour with Alicia Keys and play piano for her (Yes, I'm crazy!)
33. Procrastinating horribly
34. Really liking the fact that I have a cat :)
35. Watching more TV than ever
36. Dreading the summer
37. Having horrible flashbacks about bad experiences at work (can you say: Briefing Team?)
38. Watching fencing matches...
39. Nine hours straight...
40. And finding it absolutely fascinating...
41. And even giving advice as to what a particular fencer should do, like I was some expert! (teehee!)

I'll let you know if there are anymore!