Crazy, Goofy World

Major Metro Pet Peeves

Gang, I'm a native Washingtonian, which means I've been taking the subway and the bus to school, work, the movies, college, to visit family, the whole nine for at least ten years. I stopped keeping track after I graduated from high school.

But I've come to the conclusion-- some things just NEVER change... I have listed the things that won't ever get through folks' skulls....

1. STAND TO THE RIGHT, WALK TO THE LEFT. You'd think that the whole WORLD would know that by now, but apparently not.

2. If you have a rolly thing with you, that's cool. But if you're going up or down the escalator, make sure it is in front of you or behind you, NOT beside you, hence BLOCKING THE LEFT-SIDE WALKING TRAFFIC!!!!

3. And when you make to the top or bottom of the escalator with your rolly thing, and it was either behind or in front of you, DO NOT pull it next to you, blocking the hopeful traffic. (In addition, don't smile at me when you do it, as if you totally forgot the rules... just move the damned rolly thing!)

4. You've been waiting for the bus for 20 minutes. You've had PLENTY of time to ask folks around you how much the fare is (It's even posted on the busstop post!)... so don't go hunting for change at the last moment when you've been waiting there forever, HOLDING UP the entire line of people trying to get to work on time.

5. When the train comes to a full stop, do not stand in front of the door when you see a bunch of people getting ready to come out of the train. STAND TO THE SIDE OF THE DOOR, let the people out and then YOU go in. Gosh!

6. Maybe it's a personal space thing but... if you're on a relatively empty bus or train, DO NOT sit next to me when you have soooo much space to sit unless, of course, you're handicapped in some way and it's the closest seat to the door (no problem there).

7. If you have a cold, the flu, allergies, whatever, do not put your snot rag on the pole. If possible, sit as far away from the major populace as you can. You're gonna give them eebie jeebies...

8. If you're running for the train, don't stick your crap in the door. You're going to hold up the whole schedule, messing up everyone's transfers and connections. You can even make the train malfunction (it has happened and it pissed me off!)

9. If you are on the cellphone, keep it short. I do not need to know about how Tommy completely ignored you or how Susan is so hot.

10. And if someone does call you while you're on the bus or subway, do us all a favor and shut that annoying "Hollaback Girl" cellphone ring off and answer it. But keep it short.

11. If you're at a major transfering point for the trains (i.e. Metro Center, Gallery Place/Chinatown), do not stand in the middle of the traffic, you BIG IDIOT! Move to the dang side! When you get off the train and you know there's a huuuuge bunch of people ready to make their transfer, don't mosey your way in their direction, even if you aren't in a rush to make the same train everyone else is. You're being rude. Move to the furthest right side of the traffic and go your pace, but do NOT walk slowly in the middle and ZIG ZAG just enough so the folks behind you can't get by. You're definitely asking for a beatdown.

12. Gents: If there is an elderly woman or a pregnant woman that gets on the bus or subway, give your seat up to her. If I'm sitting at the back of the bus and either woman (or elderly man) makes his or her way to the back, someone's butt is getting kicked.

13. Please keep your food consumption to a very small minimum... I can understand a cup of Starbucks coffee in the morning, but I can't understand a whole bagel with cream cheese... esp when it's ridiculously crowded. Come on.

14. When you have luggage, like big luggage, and you're going to Union Station or Regan or whatever, don't block the aisle with it... yes, we understand that you insist on taking your big ole bag on the bus or subway, but still be mindful. And when you get off of the subway, don't act all lost, with your bag 4 feet behind you, blocking SOOOO much walking traffic. I CAN'T STAND THIS!

15. Don't try to help me with the day's Crossword puzzle in The Express. Even glancing over too long is rude.

More to come, I'm sure....

posted by Chopin Girl @ 10:06 PM