Controversial Topic: Interracial Dating
It may not be so controversial with other folks like it is with Black Women... I have noticed over the past 5-10 years. And while I always thought that I was an open-minded individual, I realized that I still had some "hang ups".
What's the deal?
Well, I guess we have to get out a bunch of 'stereotypes' or assumptions or just things that are said as fact all the time.
Let's see:
1. Black women are told constantly (news, magazines, papers, internet, their friends, Fox News, etc) that there is a dearth of Black men in America. They are either in jail, gay or dead. (I just have to say that this is so stupid).
2. Black women are bombarded with images of what she must look like-- tall, thin, with some butt (but not too much), some curves and a certain shade of skin. (stupid as well).
3. Black women are also bombarded with the stereotype that they are bossy, picky, loud and just unbearable to be around.
4. Black women are bombarded with images of Black men (the ones who aren't gay, in jail or dead)-- infidels, drug-users, uncouth, unable to speak, atheletes, sometimes unintelligible, etc--- which makes Black women either turned off from them or have them believe that this is what to settle for or that's all that's out there.
5. Black men are bombarded by images of Black women as being promiscuous, gold-diggers, wanting to 'pull a fast one', can dance to 'booty music', has four or five kids and on and on.
Ok, while there are some cases such as these, this is not the norm. But let's get into the meat and potatoes of this...
Given these stereotypes, etc, that Black women have of Black men and vice versa, it becomes even more twisted in the Game of Love (or at least trying to get a phone number).
I am going to speak for myself from now on in this blog.
I know that when I see a Black man walking down the street hand in hand with a White woman (or some other woman that's not Black), I am stuck with a dilemma before I pass them. (this is a dialogue that other Black women have admitted to... so I'm not crazy): Should I smile at them and say "hello" like I did to the past two couples I just passed in the street? If I did that, would the guy think I'm patronizing him and think I'm faking? Or should I pretend like I didn't see them and not say hello at all? But if I do that, will he think that I'm jealous or something?
This is craziness, y'all, but this happens... not as often anymore b/c I ain't got time anymore-- I either say hello to everyone or no one at all... depending on how I feel during that day.
And I have to say that when I had this discussion with other Black women, when they see this combo of a couple, they say "Hmph." and may even roll eyes.
Is this racism? At first sight, it may seem like it. I don't think so... but let's look at this a little bit closer.
Let's revisit the 5 points I brought up at the beginning of this blog. As a Black woman, there's a tacit "rule" out there stating that I have to date or get married to a Black man-- I mean, if you're really going to look at it in a VERY pragmatic way, one can assume that a Black man and Black woman would have a lot in common-- more than any other combination. But this does not hold true anymore... however, this tacit rule still sticks to us while reality is sort of changing around us slowly but surely.
So, if your target is a Black man and you're fishing for that precious one that isn't in jail or gay or unintelligeble ,etc, and you see one that LOOKS appropriate for you with a woman of another race, you're reaction is "Hmph" for several reasons (mainly assumptions):
1. He likes women of that particular race (which means, that's one less man I can vie for).
2. He likes women of that particular race b/c of hair texture, body shape, etc (which is something I cannot compete with, which leads back to the conclusion in #1).
3. He has sworn off Black women because he doesn't like the way they look or has fed into the stereotype that Black women are just not a good partner to have b/c she's promiscuous, got four or five kids or just want to take all of yur money (the list goes on and on). ---> I think this is the worst fear because not only can you NOT compete, but you think you will possibly be ridiculed.
4. (I know you're thinking it, and I'm going to say it): He done lost his damn mind. He think he's doing better by being with her than being with me.
But that just comes down to how I think of myself (making sure I keep this in the 1st person). There's some feeling of inadequacy that's going on. And I have to admit that as a Black woman, I'm told everyday one way or another that I am NOT good enough at anything except for messing something up or bitching someone out about something very trivial. As a Black woman, I have a ton of pride that just doesn't seem to be respected or acknowledged. I want a guy to smile at me and asking me how my day was without me having to reveal a certain amount of skin to gain attention. It just seems like every other woman can get that simple sign of respect wihtout going through so much effort. It's a lot to deal with every freakin' day without the Game of Love even being a part of the picture... and then you see a man you're "supposed" to be with on the arm of a beautiful woman of another race and you just feel like you lost a battle or something...
But really think about it...Why is it less OK if a Black guy you're looking at is with a White woman instead of a Black woman? The bottom line is: YOU DON'T GOT HIM!!! And if he's fine, just hate on the woman b/c she's on his arm, not because she's White or whatever!!! Girlfriend got game (or just got to him before you did!!) LOL
Revelation Time:Having gone through such a sociological study in like 5 minutes, there is a revelation that I had today: There is a woman for every man... and there is no qualifier to this--- just because you're Black doesn't mean that your soul mate has to be Black too. The White woman that may be on that Black man's arm is there because he is attracted to her-- all of her.. not just her color but her humor, her style, her laugh, her ambitions in life. Everything.
And this is only if it's a genuine guy.
Same goes for women, too.
If this guy has "gone to the other side" because he actually
BELIEVES the stereotypes of about Black women and he "just can't stand a Black woman" and he believes that "White women are blah blah blah", believe me, the woman he's with (whether she's White, Brown, Purple or Blue) will realize that he isn't worth it b/c he's ultimately not liking her for her... she will soon call "BS" on him and dump his sorry, stereotyping ass.
And vice versa.
I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world... and maybe I am an idealist and maybe I'm an optimist, but I am willing to take a wild guess and say that all humans are the same-- no one wants to be disrespected, no one wants to be shunned because of traits they can't alter in a day and everyone wants to be loved... the only difference among us all is that we were just raised differently and have different cultures. These cultures are different and beautiful.. but the nasty parts of it, the stereotypes that they are willing to keep a hold of, we have to leave all of that behind. Because when it comes down to it, folks, we must open our eyes...
everyone's beautiful. And every human being has the ability (and responsibility) to show our best whenever we can. And there's someone out there waiting for us to show it and fall in love with it-- no matter what color.
Just my romantic interpretation of the situation.
Tidal
So, as I was assemblying a bunch of new stuff for the apartment, I just popped in a CD that I hadn't listened to in a while and I only listened to two songs. I was somehow compelled to just listen to the whole CD. This CD was Fiona Apple's first joint, Tidal.
It's REALLY good.
But, there we go... I know myself. I bought this CD at a second hand store back in 1998 when I did a summer program at Cornell University. I don't know why I got it, I think I really liked that song "Criminal" or something.
The point still remains, I usually buy music this way. I would buy a bunch of CDs over a certain amount of time, then I eventually listen to the whole CD-- either within a month or, in this case, 7 years.
In any case, Tidal is really good. My favorite is "Shadowboxer"... overall, Fiona Apple is a really good artist. Very jazzy, very soulful-- a voice I wouldn't necessarily expect from such a small person.
I hope she comes out with more stuff soon. I really like her... she's now a part of my "alternative music" quest...
Shadowboxer:Once my lover Now my friend What a cruel thing To pretendWhat a cunning way To condescendOnce my lover and Now my friend Oh, you creep upLike the clouds And you set my soul at ease Then you letYour love abound And you bring me To my knees Oh, it's evil, babeThe way you let Your grace enrapture meWhen will you know I'd be insaneTo ever let thatDirty game recapture meYou made meA shadowboxer, babyI wanna be readyFor what you doI've been swingingAll around me'Cause I don't knowWhen you're gonnaMake your moveOh, your gazeIs dangerousAnd you fill yourSpace so sweet If I let youGet too closeYou'll set yourSpell on meSo darlin'I just wanna sayJust in caseI don't come throughI was on to every playI just wanted youBut, oh, it's so evilMy loveThe way you've noReverence to my concernSo I'll be sure toStay wary of you, loveTo save the pain ofOnce my flame andTwice my burnYou made meA shadowboxer, babyI wanna be readyFor what you doI've been swingingAll around me'Cause I don't knowWhen you're gonnaMake your move
Just thinking about this time last year...
I remember that this time last year, I was in the middle of a relationship with an older guy (he was 33... ouch). Don't you know how you know deep down inside that it's not right? Well, I knew that... it wasn't fulfilling in a lot of ways, but, unfortunately and if anything, it was because I finally had someone. But in fact, I didn't have anyone. If anything, he had me. And he was TRIFLING. Girrrrl, let me tell ya.. and it's hilarious that it has taken me a year to finally admit it 100% truthfully. My aunt and I were on the phone constantly-- her giving me advice and me trying to take it but too afraid to. I talked with my aunt about it the other day and we both were howling laughing on the phone about how she knew how things would go and how TRIFLING this guy was.
Well, I be darned if I didn't see him again today at the gym. Good Lord have mercy, I saw him and of course, he's in a position where I couldn't easily get away. Good gracious, so then he wanted to say "Why haven't you called? I've called and left messages and everything and you didn't call me back."
Folks, that was such a blatant lie. And even he knew that. So, while he spoke, I started falling asleep standing (I had just come from the night shift of work in the morning and I was definitely thinking of how to get into the shower then into my very comfy bed). So, he said he'll call me. I couldn't give a flying dead cat about this. Of course, it won't even happen. This guy is so fake, it's ridiculous.
In any case, it's too funny how things can change within a year.
What's going on?
While I know that this blog was originally meant to talk on and on and on about music, I have to admit that there have been very few songs, piano pieces, symphonic music or even musical instruments that have inspired me to write about it/them on this blog for the past few weeks. If anything, life events have taken place and I must decide on these events' soundtracks pretty soon.
What are these events?
1. After watching "Hitch", I realize that there just may be someone out there for all of us. However, as I went to work today, two "kids" announced that they were engaged (to separate folks). These "kids" are 24 and 26, basically my age range. Speaking of marriage, I'm set to be a bridesmaid at my cousin's wedding in September and she's 27 years old... not that far ahead of me. She's been with her hubby-to-be for the past 5 years. Wow, if things are to go the way that these folks have gone, I'm definitely behind the curve here.
2. I've learned that I'm a damned good employee... and I do deserve the awards I have received. That's all I got to say.
3. I've learned that I just may need a break from some things that I thought were good a while back. You know, can't eat too much McDonalds or can't get too much family gossip. You just get sick of it. There are a lot of things I need a break from-- even wonderful emotional support from a dear friend. I've noticed that life is surprisingly good without the advice (because I am implementing it now)... but the interaction is lacking and, while I know it's self-initiated, I do miss it. But it's required right around now.
I don't know what it is. I guess actually thinking about who I am and what I want for myself has made me a bit more reflective and by reflective, that means pretty introverted to some but extremely extroverted towards others... I guess that means I need certain things from certain people. I need to be around certain folks in order to make it through the day. The rigamaroll from January just won't cut it for now. I guess that's OK.
One thing I am noticing--- I am gradually being drawn to folks who are quite confident in their intellectual abilities as well as their appearance but are very subtle about it. They aren't into comparing, or blabbering it out to the world. They are who they are. It's the most comfortable thing to be around. Not to say that I hung out with folks who were the complete opposite in the past, but I'm starting to really see this in some folks and really appreciate it.
More to learn...
Seeing Red
Ok, guys... you must excuse my language because I am so pissed off right now. (And I've been working with former Marines all weekend so some of that foul language did rub off.)
And this is a lesson to all, mostly ladies, but really to all....
So, I'm at work right? A co-worker, Greg, is training another guy, Steve, b/c he's taking over Greg's job pretty soon. ANYWAY, Greg says "Hey, Stanli, I'm going to go to Pentagon City to get some food. What do you want? McDonalds? Etc" So I say "Yeah, a fish filet, medium, you know, the usual."So the Steve dude syas "Well, Stanli, McDonalds is bad for you. I've seen you eat a lot of McDonald's lately and I don' t think it's a good idea." --- with the tone of voice that states that if I keep it up, I'm gonna gain 100 pounds in 2 weeks. (When I'm 5'1 and 122lbs... not possible)
So, there's this weird silence that SHOULD have been filled with me saying the follow: "Well, bitch, I'm a grown-ass woman and I'm aware. I want McDonalds-- I've been workin' freaking day and night and earning my pay-- I'll eat what I want. I've seen "SuperSize Me." The fries are good. Let me eat in freakin' peace."
But, of course, I don't say that.
So, guess what Stanli does? (And this is why I'm REALLY pissed off)--- I change my damn order to a goddamned, non-filling stupid salad. The hell?
I'M PISSED OFF!!!
Y'all--- don't EVER do this. I'm sure some of you wouldn't even let this happen-- but just in case you ever feel that weakness, do whatever the hell you want. Let the wrath of a Black enter your soul and prevent you from bending to someone else's rules (unless, of course, a big tiger is coming your way... but you get the point).
And don't give me that the salad was better for me-- while it probably was, the PRINCIPLE is that this is America... I should not have anyone who isn't my immediate family tell me what is good for me when they don't know who I am.
And I think what added into my insecurity (which is soooo bad) was when this same IDIOT was saying "Yeah, I think every Latin and Black man's dream is a woman who's over 5'9."
DARN YOU. DARN YOU TO HECK.
While this is obviously NOT true, I still fed into this. I'M SO PISSED WITH MYSELF!!!!!!
Things I've Learned...
... in the past 3 days at work:
1. I may not always be right, but gosh darn it, I'm not always wrong either. The "expert" or "senior" can be wrong and you can't take their word for it. You have to check up on them, too.
2. After getting beaten up about 3 times, the whopping of the same intensity is not all that bad the 4th time and it's nearly non-existent the 5th time and onwards.
3. You can develop a thick skin in a 3-month period.
4. Divas should leave their diva-ness at the doorstep at home. I need you to work, damnit, not tell me what to do while rolling your eyes.
5. I learned what type of boss I will be and will NOT be.
6. Patience is definitely key.
7. You must treat people with respect. No need to rush.
8. But you do need to be firm sometimes.
9. Finesse is a wonderful quality.
10. When idiots are talking (and yes, idiots do exist), don't waste your time absorbing what they are saying.
11. When you know that you kick ass, and you're quiet about it, people tend to respect you more.
12. Slightly unrelated, but, don't buy a house with a guy unless you two are married.
13. "Thank you" with a smile will gain a lot of results.
14. Never compare yourself to others... you're always going to lose that game.
15. If you see something that someone else is doing, and it works, and it benefits everyone, go ahead, copy it and watch results just flourish.
16. Don't ever be afraid of being yelled at-- that stifles your creativity, you ability to think and your ability to get things done. If someone makes you feel that way, you've got to reflect as to why you are giving them so much power. Once you realize that they are human, do what you've got to do.
Idealism
I see nothing wrong with this word. Or the 'L' word (liberal). I want the world to change, ok? I want to make an impact. I want things to be better.
I want people in the world to NOT starve. Don't feed me any of this "Well, that's how it goes" BS or any utilitarian BS. There's no reason for that.
Africa DOES have a purpose in this world and it is NOT a lost cause. I'm TIRED of people just dismissing the entire continent of people as a lost cause, therefore, taking all of the responsibility out of their hands to at least think about the problems that exist within the continent. Yes, there are problems of corruption, low education, poverty, the top taking from the bottom and I am DEFINITELY NOT excusing that-- but if you see something broken, why just dismiss it?
Yes, there is definitely a root cause to terrorism and we have to do more than killing the terrorists that are out there. Because even some our own troops said "when I kill one terrorist, I know I am creating three more." So just killing, etc, isn't the only answer. I agree, bin Ladin should be brought to some form of justice, but we've gotta squash this thing from many angles AT THE SAME TIME.
Ok, there, I said all of that. I am an idealist. And I have more to say.
Have we NOT learned anything from 9/11? Have we NOT learned anything from globalization? Have we not learned that all countries are connected stronger than ever whether we like it or not?
And I have to admit that no, I'm not apart of formal processes of negotiations, so I don't know the full story but-- why does it seem like we're not taking a lot of this weapons proliferation stuff more seriously? Why do we criticize the UN and other international organizations of not being effective when it seems as if we have no solutions to make them more effective vis a vis the whole nonproliferation stuff with N. Korea, Iran and possibly other countries?
I don't know-- I thought that I would grow out of this but apparently I haven't. And for good reason too. Someone argued that Idealism is completely opposite of what reality. I argue that some realities are so because of idealistic folks. We somehow balance each other out. Without idealistic thought, there would still be slavery, there would still be no suffrage, no equality whatsoever because that's what things were-- that was the reality. But somehow, this idealism just happened to sift over and turn into a reality. How did this happen? With time, and with faith and with continued idealistic values.
You need the "latte-drinking, Kant-reading hippies" to reign in such realistic "quacks" and vice versa. We need each other. But I think we need a little be more idealism right now...
Just my interpretation of the situation.
What's your type?
I don't know what it is, but I've noticed that my taste in guys has been getting a bit more keener lately-- it's not all over the map like it was freshman year of college.
I don't know why a short gal like me like guys who are at least 6 feet tall. I mean, it's impractical! But I've noticed that that's the case. And I tend to look at guys who fit this description and more in this order:
I tend to look if he has:
1. Beautiful dreds
2. A 'fro
3. A bald head
4. Chocolate skin
5. muscles
6. Dreamy smile
I mean, although most of the top pretty much refered to Black Men, there other criteria that would get my attention just as much if the guy weren't black... i.e. a lean body, maybe lanky, kinda goofy... or a gentle voice, loud laughter, beautiful blue eyes...
OK, maybe I'm still stuck in freshman year.
What brought this up is that I saw a guy on the way home today and he looked a lot like my red-headed guy friend who I have a slight crush on. Since I haven't seen my friend in months, the crush just waned away and I've been trying to pinpoint ever since why the past few guys I've dated just don't have the exact same qualities physically or characteristically.
Ah, well, I'll have fun figuring it out as I meet guys who fit different qualities...
Family Affair
So, my cousins are in town this week and next week. They are 9 and 11 and they are adorable. However, they have to stay at mean Grandma's house. Dun dun dun. Now, I say mean because that's how she's described by all of my cousins who had to deal with her at least 5 minutes of their lifetimes. However, I was raised by her and my Grandfather for 18 years. So, I think I have a better perspective of how she is than the rest of my cousins.
Ok, Grandma can be a bit biting at times: she doesn't really yell, per se, but it's a really stern voice and it sounds like that can throw an uppercut at the ripe old age of 75. And she's very nit-picky, very serious about portions and serious about her philosophy of how and when children should eat and play. That doesn't sound that different from other Grandmas. Also, she's pretty keen on children responding to her when she asks a question. Basically, out of this entire equation between her and Granddaddy, kids hands down like Granddaddy the most. And they are usually terrified of Grandma.
Ok, I just have to say that this isn't fair to Grandma. One must understand the reason why the house is so clean, the dishes are clean, the food is so glamourously cooked, tastes so well, the home is really fit for 100 people to come in and just sit down-- it's because she has strict rules. Now she can get a bit annoying when it comes to HOW things should be done, but no one is dead because she said it sternly.
My beef is that I have loyalty to both my aunt and my grandmother (as I should) but the other thinks the other is wrong when it comes to children. My aunt does not think my grandmother is nurturing enough-- she's too critical which makes people shun her. My grandmother thinks that she's right-- you can't have children just running around and tearing up the place. Both have a point. However, both don't realize that their point is besides the entire overarching point.
My aunt does not realize that my Grandma's rules are actually needed-- if someone walks into the room and does not say anything, they are, in fact, being rude. And that's completely uncalled for especially in a 70-something year old's home. You're not appreciating the fact that your grandparents are to be respected and you must come correct. And her rules are being seen as strict and seen as nurturing as well. There is something behind these rules.
My Grandma does not realize that she does not have to be strict on the forefront-- not every kid is going to run into the house and tear it up. Give the kids a chance-- don't assume the worst out of them when you first see them. Also, her very critical yet generic speeches about children maybe aren't the best when they are in earshot.
The overarching point is that we are all family--- and the thing about that is that when you try too hard to make people something that they aren't, then controversy will occur. And when there's a proxy (me), there tends to be side-taking. While I'm giving each side advice on how to live with each other and that no one really is wrong, I have a feeling I'm going to be the scapegoat somehow.
It's hard to stay out of something when you've already put your 2 cents in.
Trying to stay alive
I just got off of the night shift Monday morning... I'm still having a hard time readjusting to a normal schedule. It's 7:30 am now and my head HURTS. I guess the past two nights weren't good ones to start experimenting with pina coladas or strawberry daiquiris.
Even so, it's ridiculous how hard it is to stay awake or trying not to wake up with headaches--- I have nothing to show for these headaches-- not like I've been out dancing all night.
Wish me luck. I really need to clean up this place but I have NO motivation-- no wonder why those 9 days off go by so quickly. Now it's down to 7. I missed a day somewhere in there....
Reflections of a DC Native
I haven't had a chance to write about this until now. But this time last week, I was able to experience where I came from, where I am now and what happens when I go back to where I came from.
Raised by my grandparents from the age of 14 months in Anacostia, SE DC (don't get worried, I won't take your money!), I was exposed to most of the stuff that went on in that quadrant of the Nation's Capital. However, maybe my fam was different or something, but we didn't really get caught up in the latest foolishness/crimes/whatever. I think the thing that helped with that was the fact that my grandparents lived on a relatively old block (the whole street was full of senior citizens). So, it was pretty much cool, at least on that block. But the places we went for daily necessities was all within that quadrant. Safeway was up on Alabama Ave, we'd go out to Branch Avenue/MD to go shopping and to the movies (either in or near Iverson Mall), go to b-day parties at the roller-skating rink on Branch Ave, go to Red Lobster on that same strip... may go a little further out to go to Marlow Heights to go to Sears/JC Penny for furniture.
We went to the Indian Head Highway area for around 8 years for my piano lessons religiously every Monday afternoon (which later changed to Saturdays due to the horrible traffic on Mondays, but the dedication never wavered).
But pretty much, that was my world for 18 years. It expanded just an itty bit when I was 13 when I attended Hine Jr. High on Capitol Hill, but that only consisted of me getting on the bus and then hurriedly getting back home where it was safe (how ironic is that? I thought my home in SE was definitely more safer than the rest of the city and now people are swearing to me that SE is the most dangerous place on the planet.) With High school, it was up in the Georgia Ave/U Street Cardozo area. My world expanded a bit more, but not really until senior year.
The funny thing is that I ended up going to Georgetown for college... but I had not visited Georgetown U. or the Georgetown area until the April before my first semester. Again, my life was NOT in Georgetown, so why did I need to go up there?
Now, I've been out of college for 2 years, I work in the area and I currently live in Glover Park. Yet, I'm still figuring out what's out there in this wonderful city. Not things like the Kennedy Center, Tom Toms, Raku or the Hart Building on Capitol Hill or the 5,000 Starbucks in our city. It was the other easier things: K-Mart? Walmart? Target? These places are in VA-- there's NO way I'm going out there! But, alas, I had to find one of these places last week. My grandma just got out of the hospital about 2 weeks ago (she's fine! She just has to slow down a bit). One day, I decided to rent a car ... I then asked Grandma if she needed anything before I visited her-- esp anything heavy since I had a car. All she needed was a simple housecoat/robe. It's all good, I think.
So I go to the Target on Route 1 (well, near Crystal City) and they don't have it. I could have easily gone to Pentagon City but the only thing that was holding me back was the fact that I may have to parallel park (which I'm horrible at). So, I think of the KMart that's out on Branch Avenue. That's all I knew.
I had not been along that strip in YEARS. K-Mart wasn't there anymore. Iverson Mall wasn't as popular as it used to be and looked rundown. The Hechts was rundown as well, but still there. There were tons of cheap stores along the strip and I found a really nicecoat for Grandma. I stopped by a couple of other stores, got a couple of catcalls, some dude asking for my number and a girl just "gritting" on me. I got back into my car and drove to my grandparents.
I weaved down Alabama Avenue, pass the new Safeway, the no-longer Giant... then onto Good Hope Road pass the Anacostia Public Library that I used to go to everyday during the summers and actually try to compete with my cousins to see who could read a book the fastest. I weaved down a bit more down Good Hope Road and saw that the old McDonalds was now a laundromat. I turned past my old elementary school, which also looked rundown and then on the block of Frederick Douglas Memorial Home (gorgeous) and I was at my grandparents.
When I got in, I was exhausted. Granted, it was 91 degrees outside and I had been driving for FOREVER. But something else made me very exhausted. This hunt for a housecoat took me through at least 18 years of memories-- good and bad-- and a feeling of how much I do not belong to my old neighborhood and also how isolated as a kid I was from the city. I don't remember going to the Gap or Banana Republic then, nor did I going to anywhere near NW unless there was something VERY specific we needed. I thought constantly of the stereotypes there are about both the NW areas and the SE areas... also about how much I don't know about DC and how out of touch I've been with the SE area (to some extent, by my own choice).
So, I hung out with my grandfather in the basement as he watched the baseball game and talked to Grandma for a bit as she fussed at Granddaddy-- same business as usual. Then I fell into a very very deep sleep for 2 hours on one of the beds in the basement. I felt that same sense of safeness right there that I had years ago when I'd come home from a day at school. It's weird-- maybe it's because it's really home. And it's also weird because I always thought I'd feel more safe somewhere else, i.e. my condo in Glover Park that I purchased 2 years ago... was I running away 2 years ago after graduation? Am I still running away? Well, one thing's for sure, I do like my current place and I will grow more where I am now... but it will take a while for me to develop that sense of security as I felt during my 2 hour soul-rest.
Stay tuned for more revelations...
Jazz in DC
I'm definitely looking forward to Monday-- after Monday morning, I'm off from work for a good period of time.
I'm trying to think of places to go around DC that I've always wanted to do-- that being going to a jazz club.
I'm excited because there are some good acts going on at
Blues Alley (on Wisconsin) and
Bohemian Caverns (U Street-Cardozo). I haven't been to either of these places before, and I somewhat pride myself on being some form of a jazz buff. Well, the chance is here.
Apparently, Blues Alley is pretty famous--- The Duke himself played there, Dizzy, Ella, Trane, Miles, Bird--- all of these 'cats' were there. Can you imagine DC in the hay-day of jazz? I KNOW it was awesome (despite the thing called segregation).
I definitely cannot wait until Tuesday-- gonna doll myself up, try to convince someone to go with me on a Tuesday night (wish me luck)-- if not, I'll go by myself. And no, I'm not a loser for that! :)
Let you know how it goes.
Friends
This is a test to see if this actually goes through. I was totally digging the curly fro at that time. (Um, like, 3 months ago. LOL)
Why I hate my job right about now...
... ok, maybe not HATE but currently not liking my immediate disposition. It's hard trying to do something when everyone's gone from work... I miss my friends... I'm starting to miss the ability to do stuff freely or take leave freely.
Also, I'm starting my first night of the shift of nights. That's usually the most depressing day.
Also, I'm dreading 4 am when my SIA comes barrelling in complaining about a mishap that has been taken care of but she won't let me go without letting me know or at least giving me the silent treatement to show her disappointment. Gawd.
Well, what are you going to do? Such is life...
If I Ain't Got You
The other day, I finished learning the music to Alicia's "If I Ain't Got You." It's surprisingly easy but it took me a fully-committed hour to sit down, listen to it on the iPod and sort of look at the music I purchased. I've learned, after spending $14.95, that the sheet music is merely a guide, not exactly what Alicia is playing on the song. It's ok, though. I can impress so many people by playing that song over and over--- I'm not just a classical music person-- I can branch out as well!
